THE HOLIDAY SEASON IS HERE, with its annual promise of festivities, family, and fun. But not always, because what often goes hand-in-hand are uneasiness, stress, and anxiety. There are real reasons for the negative side of the holidays, but there are ways to cope.
“Why would people have anxiety at what is supposed to be a joyful time?” asked Erin Wiley, a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and owner/therapist of The Willow Center. She points to several causes. “Consumerism has taken over Christmas and stresses people,” she said. “On social media we see things people buy and their expensive decorations. It can be expensive and time-consuming to have a Pinterest-worthy Christmas. If that’s what you’re chasing, it’s going to make you stressed.
“Also, we’re all dealing with family. That can be complicated and stressful. And everybody’s overscheduled. We cram a lot into the month of December.
“People should think about what the holidays mean to them and what they want their holidays to be like,” she said. “Make plans to set up boundaries that protect your time and energy levels so you can have the type of holiday you want. Don’t have people make you feel guilty about how you spend your time.”
Wiley continued, “Manage your expectations. Know ahead of time that it’s not going to be perfect. You’ll forget a gift, get a duplicate gift, or not be able to afford the gift your child really wants. Resolve ahead of time to accept whatever happens and prepare yourself for the fact it’s not going to be perfect.”
Combat stress by being proactive. “Make sure to schedule time for fun things,” Wiley said. “Take time to reflect on your priorities. Spend time with friends. Make memories with grandchildren. Do the things you want to do and not the things you feel you’re supposed to do.”
She added, “Enjoy snacks and treats, but everything in moderation. Eat healthy foods, too. If you stay up late for a party, get quality sleep.”
Another positive way to cope: exercise. “Anytime you can move your body, the brain supports that by pumping out ‘happy chemicals,’” she said, referring to endorphins. “Even if only for a 10-minute walk.”
Sometimes the negative side of the holidays is deeper than stress. “If you feel depressed, recognize it’s normal,” Wiley said. “It’s not atypical to shut down over the holidays. Often we want to isolate when depressed and overwhelmed, but that’s the worst thing we can do.”
Her suggestion: “Even if it takes great effort, get out and be around people even if only for just a little time. We need to be connected with other people. You may have to force yourself to do it, but go out. Go to a Christmas concert, volunteer at an animal shelter. Do something that brings you joy. Get out among people instead of isolating.”
She has suggestions for those who are spending the holidays without a loved one, especially for the first time. “Give yourself time and space to grieve. Don’t ignore the sadness. Spend some reflective time leaning into the emotional struggle instead of running away. Join a support group.”
Wiley concluded, “Don’t aim for perfection. Align and protect your time so that the time you spend is in line with your priorities. For most, that’s family, not buying stuff. Spend quality time with people.”
Dennis Bova is a freelance writer and editor. ✲
