AS PEOPLE GET OLDER, it’s natural for their health status and care needs to change. However, no two individuals experience aging—and the physical or cognitive issues commonly associated with the process—in precisely the same way. For older couples, this often means one spouse or life partner needs a different level of care than the other, which can sometimes make it difficult for them to stay together.
Recognizing the challenges that differing health requirements can present to spouses or partners, The Gardens of St. Francis, a CHI Living Communities facility located at 930 S. Wynn Road in Oregon, Ohio, provides a broad continuum of care levels and residential options to ensure couples receive the unique level of support they need and can remain side by side throughout life’s journey.
For Rosemary and Stephen Vamos— who were married for 67 years prior to Rosemary’s passing on May 3 of 2023—the full care continuum, dedicated staff, and spiritual focus at The Gardens of St. Francis proved to be invaluable in staying connected to one another, especially during Rosemary’s end-of-life transition.
The couple came to The Gardens of St. Francis in September of 2021 with very different needs. Their daughter, Kathy Vamos, explains, “Mom was having memory issues, and when I’d go to their house, I could see it was getting harder for her to take care of herself. Dad also had a lot of physical limitations. At one point, he broke his ankle and had to be hospitalized. Afterward, he went to The Gardens of St. Francis for rehab and we put Mom in respite care there. While in rehab, Dad decided he wanted to stay at The Gardens of St. Francis, so he moved with Mom into the Memory Care Unit. That was wonderful because they never wanted to be apart. After 67 years of marriage, it was very important that they could stay together.”
The strong emphasis on faith at the Gardens of St. Francis really proved its worth when Rosemary’s life journey came to an end. Kathy states that when Rosemary was passing, the Memory Care aides and staff—whom she describes as very caring, compassionate, and genuinely committed to serving residents—all came in to say goodbye to her and express their love.
Kathy further recalls, “Dad had gotten COVID in January and was in skilled nursing when Mom got sick. They brought in hospice and put the two of them together in a double room. When Mom passed, Dad wanted to go to the funeral, which could have presented challenges because he was in a wheelchair. Fortunately, there’s a chapel at The Gardens of St. Francis, so they had visitation and a rosary recitation in the chapel and then held the funeral Mass there. Dad couldn’t make it to Mom’s graveside, but he was able to attend her funeral. Afterward, a reception was held at the facility also. It was very beautiful that we were able to do all of that there.”
According to Kathy, Stephen, though obviously still grieving for Rosemary, seems to be coping with her passing in a healthy manner. He still attends Mass regularly and is participating in other activities both on and off campus grounds. “Also, Mom always journaled in her later years, and I’ve been taking those to him, which really seems to help a lot,” she adds.
Kathy is confident that The Gardens of St. Francis was not only the right community for both her parents, but continues to be the best option for her father. She explains, “I think the Gardens of St. Francis, at its core, has a value system of human dignity and truly caring for residents. The facility is beautiful and always clean. I enjoy taking Dad out every day around the grounds and pond. Also, the administration really seems to listen to your concerns. I feel very comfortable with him being there.”
Kathy’s advice to anyone with aging loved ones is to begin exploring senior living options sooner rather than later, even if they haven’t expressed a desire to move to one. “It’s a very difficult decision to put a loved one in a facility, and too often people make that decision in the midst of a crisis. As a family member, I would advise going to look at various places before a crisis arises—which is what we did before settling on The Gardens of St. Francis—because someday they might need it for their own safety.” ✲
