Life is not an error, even when it is.
+Christian Wiman Doubting is not a sin. Nor does it denote a lack of faith.
Lack of faith is a pure and simple disbelief.
Doubting is an invitation to enter into the mystery more deeply, to go beyond the superficial.
+John Aurelio And do not worry that your life is turning upside down.
How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the side to come?
+Rumi
SHARING MY FAITH with others, the Sisters in my religious community, my Muslim/Christian dialogue group, and my family and friends, I often find myself in a place where I feel that my world has been turned upside down. This is especially true when I experience a disconnect between me and the other person I am in dialogue with. As I live life in the convent as a religious Sister and follow the life of Jesus in the Gospels and the Rule of Life of a Franciscan (which is really the same thing), I am aware that what I believed and practiced when I was a child, a teenager, a young adult, a middle ager, and now an elder has significantly changed because I have learned that change and doubt along the way have lead me to a richer and deeper relationship with God and others.
When I was a child, just learning about God and the beliefs of the Catholic Church, things were pretty much memorized, and that was what I believed. As a teenager, I was in the convent and learned in religion classes and by observing the Sisters a deeper meaning of just what it was that I was supposed to be believing.
n As I moved into action through the various ministries of teaching and health care, I was able to see how my beliefs helped and hindered my ability to interact with people of different backgrounds, cultures, ages, and religions. How often does a neighbor, a co-worker, even a family member challenge the way you do things, say things, express your beliefs religiously, politically, and socially?
We are living in a time in history where so much of what our parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents believed in as the absolute truth seems to be coming to an end. Are we losing our identity as a people, a country, a world, or are we gaining a universal identity where we are open to sharing the resources on the planet among all, where we truly believe that all are created equal, where differences are celebrated and mistakes are corrected in merciful and just ways?
I would hope and pray that we would be able to see how life’s changes are not errors that destroy us but simply show us another side of life and that it can be even better than what we are used to now. I also hope and pray that when doubt comes into your life personally, professionally, religiously, etc., you see it as an invitation to enter the mystery more deeply, to go beyond the superficial.
Remember: Doubting is not a sin. (John Aurelio) Life is not an error, even when it is. (Christian Wiman) Do not worry that your life is turning upside down. (Rumi)
Sister Mary thill is a Sylvania Franciscan Sister. She can be reached at mthill@sistersosf.org. ✲
