Helping children cope with the adversity of cancer
CANCER TOUCHES US ALL. We try to protect our children as best we can, but parents often don’t know what to do when faced with the adversity of cancer. We can, however, help children to have better tools to cope with the loss and stress of having an ill family member or loved one with cancer.
Raising resilient children is possible when we provide children with the tools they need to respond to challenges and adversities, even cancer. Children may experience real trauma when faced with the loss of a family member to cancer or the battle of having a grandparent/parent with cancer. Despite our best efforts, we cannot prevent adversity, but we can change how we think and act when we are faced with challenges of cancer in our lives. We can offer our children opportunities to develop tools for resiliency.
Resiliency is the ability to “bounce back” and is described as having “protective factors.” These factors can be grouped into three major categories: caring and supportive relationships, positive and high expectations, and opportunities for meaningful participation (Bernard, 1991).
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) refers to resiliency as several components, including the ability to cope, make connections, and contribute to community. According to the AAP, developing close ties to family and the community creates a solid sense of security that helps lead to strong values (Ginsburg, 2007). Children can feel the realization that the world is a better place because they are in it. Understanding the importance of personal contribution can serve as a source of purpose and motivation for our children faced with the adversity (Ginsburg, 2007) of having a loved one with cancer.
What are some tools that can be
n utilized for personal contribution, a trait of resiliency, that allow children who may be experiencing the hardship of cancer the opportunity to participate in a meaningful way? How about encouraging children to make a card, collect money, visit a cancer patient, or reach out to others without fear of the disease itself. These activities offer “positive, meaningful participation” by giving a gift of care to a loved one or to a community member with cancer! Jean Schoen is the founder and president of Cancer Connection of Northwest Ohio, Inc. (419-725-1100). ✲
