Initiate giving. Don’t wait for someone to ask. See what happens—especially to you. You may find that you gain a greater clarity about yourself and about your relationships, as well as more energy rather than less.
+Jon Kabat-Zinn
The bottom line is that we don’t “deserve” anything, anything! It’s all a gift…. We have to stop saying “I deserve” and deciding who does not deserve. None of us deserves! This daily conversion is hard to do unless we’ve experienced infinite mercy and realize that it’s all a gift—all the time.
+Father Richard Roh
’TIS THE SEASON FOR GIFT GIVING, or so it seems. Actually, if you pay attention to the media these days every day is a day for gift giving or at least gift buying.
What is this obsession with buying anything and everything even when we can’t afford it or don't need it? That is not the purpose of this article this December, and I may come back to it sometime in the future. I really want to focus on what can happen when we give freely and humbly and without judgement.
Recently, I invited my housemates out to dinner at a fancy restaurant to thank them for all the work they did to make my 60th Jubilee as a Sister of St. Francis such a memorable and precious event. They spent a lot of time planning, decorating, arranging for refreshments, and even finding a few volunteers to help before and after the big day. I actually surprised them with the invitation a few months ago, and it was fun to hear them anticipate the date from time to time. I found myself wondering if we would really be able to pull it off as life goes on and schedules and dates change in each of our lives.
On Saturday, November 11, 2023, we gathered for dinner and everything went off without a hitch. Even the weather cooperated with sunshine and warmth, which is unusual for a Saturday in November in Toledo, Ohio.
I know my housemates appreciated the event, and I experienced what Jon Kabat-Zinn meant when he said to “See what happens—especially to you.” I did gain clarity about myself and my relationship with my housemates. Before the Jubilee, I was so busy fretting about invitations, lunch seating charts, gifts for family, concerns that some of my classmates wouldn’t be well to celebrate, and on and on. When I finally realized that I was missing all the effort that those around me were putting into the special day, I began to let go of my own concerns and found myself more positive about the whole event. With regard to considering the celebration as something I deserved, Father Rohr ’s words resounded in my heart and my ears. I didn’t think I was considering the event as something I deserved after 60 years of service in the Church, but the more I looked at my “gift” to the Sisters, the more I realized that that attitude had become part of my relationship with them. They were only doing what they should do because I deserved it. Yet I firmly believe that none of us deserve the many gifts we receive in our lives and only hope that we can be forgiven for such an attitude by others who have mercy on us and can continue to love and encourage us on our journey in life.
At this point, I can only pray that I continue to realize that all is a gift—all the time. The gift I especially pray for this Christmas and holiday season is for peace and for us to realize that gratitude is peace.
Sister Mary Thill is a Sylvania Franciscan Sister. She can be reached at mthill@sistersosf.org. ✲
