“DO YOU KNOW ROB? He’s a diabetic.”
Ouch. That is not the way we should talk about a person. Rob is a person, not a disease. So what do we say? There are ways to talk about and interact with persons with disabilities.
I do not think people are intentionally rude to persons who have mobility, visual, mental, hearing, or other challenges. I believe they do not know the proper way to interact with those of us who have them. A little common sense can help people feel less awkward about meeting persons with disabilities. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) was passed in 1990 with the intent of integrating people with disabilities into all aspects of American life, particularly the workplace and the marketplace.
A person is not a disease—they are not a diabetic or a cancer victim. They are persons first. “I am a person with heart disease” or “I am a person who is blind.”
According to The United Spinal Association’s wonderful publication Disability Etiquette, Tips on Interacting with People with Disabilities, “Sensitivity toward people with disabilities is not only in the spirit of the ADA, it makes good sense in everyday life and in business. It can help you expand your practice, better serve your customers, or develop your audience. When supervisors and coworkers use disability etiquette, employees with disabilities feel more comfortable and work productively. Practicing disability etiquette is an easy way to make people feel more comfortable.”
The National Organization on Disability (NOD) reports that more than 82 million Americans have a disability or chronic disease. About one in five people have some sort of disability. Chances are everyone knows someone who has a disability— mobility challenges, hearing impairment, sight challenges, diabetes, AIDS, emotional disease, etc. Ten million people a year experience a serious mental illness, while about 65 million Americans provide care for someone with a disability or chronic illness. Four and a half million veterans received disability benefits in 2015. The 2010 United States Census reported that 5.2 million children under the age of 15 had a disability, with about half of those classified as severe disabilities.
With millions of people having disabilities, we will probably meet some out and about socially. So how do we interact with our neighbors? Some basic tips about interacting with those who have disabilities include:
Ask before you help
Just because a person has a disability does not mean they need help. Offer assistance, and let the person tell their needs. A person usually wants to be independent, so ask first. “Can I fill your plate?” Or “Let me know if I can do anything to help you” are some good questions so that a person can make their needs known. Every person has different needs, and asking them what type of help they need gives them a sense of control and independence.
Be sensitive about physical contact
Some people with disabilities depend on their arms for balance. Grabbing them could knock them off balance. Avoid patting a person on the head or touching their wheelchair, electric cart, or cane. People with disabilities consider these things part of their personal space.
Think before you speak
Always speak directly to the person with a disability, not to their companion, aide, or sign language interpreter. Making small talk with a person with a disability is wonderful; just talk to them as you would any other person. Respect their privacy. If you ask about their disability, they may feel like you are treating them as a disability and a not a human being. Many times when a child asks about a disability out of their natural curiosity, people with disabilities are very comfortable answering questions. It must be the innocence and honesty of the child—they aren’t prying.
Don’t make assumptions
People with disabilities are the best judge of what they can or cannot do. Don’t make decisions for them about participating in any activity. It could be a violation of the ADA to exclude people because of a presumption about their limitations.
Respond graciously to requests
When people with a disability ask for an accommodation in your business, it is not a complaint. Often it shows they feel comfortable enough with you to make their needs known. A positive response often means they will come back again and tell their friends about the good service you provide.
The Disability Etiquette Book is wonderful for those with or without a disability. It helps everyone. To download digital copies of this United Spinal Association book and other resources, call 718-803-3782 or visit them at unitedspinal.org and check out other resources.
Sister Karen Zielinski is the Director of Canticle Studio. Canticle Studio is a part of the Sisters of St. Francis of Sylvania, OH’s overall advancement effort and has a mission of being a creative center where artists generate works, products, and services in harmony with the mission of the Sisters St. Francis. She can be reached at kzielins@sistersosf.org or 419-824-3543. ✲
