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You’ve decided it’s time to start making healthier food choices so you can shed a few pounds, fit into your clothes better, and simply feel good about yourself. Unfortunately, when you announce your intentions to your spouse or significant other, he or she flashes that facial expression that seems to say, “Good luck with that, but I hope you don’t expect me to join you.”
You may be disappointed in this response because you know that staying committed to healthy eating is much easier when you have a partner sharing the journey. However, it is possible to stick to a healthy eating plan with minimal food-based friction between you and your reluctant partner. Here are some steps that will help ease the transition:
Don’t impose your healthy eating plan First and foremost, resist the impulse to pressure your partner into getting with the program—even if you think he or she could stand to lose a few pounds. The relationship any individual has with food is a highly personal one, and various emotional associations can influence what, when, and how much we eat. No one can decide for others that it’s time to change their food habits. Go ahead and extend the invitation for your loved one to participate, but don’t badger or browbeat or you’ll just create resentment. Besides, your partner might learn from your example and come around in the end.
Communicateyourgoals and needs Even if your partner won’t be an active participant in your healthy-eating journey, he or she can still help you stay motivated and accountable along the way. Share what you hope to achieve with your new food habits and how he or she can support— rather than sabotage—your efforts to reach those goals. For example, you might request that your partner avoid plying you with sweet treats such as ice cream or cookies, routinely picking up a pizza after work in order to “save you from having to cook,” or downplaying your concerns by insisting that you look fine and don’t need to lose weight (when the bathroom scale and the fit of your clothing tell you otherwise).
Turn to others for accountability If you feel you really aren’t going to get the support and accountability you need from your partner, there’s nothing wrong with turning to other people in your life to fulfill these needs. Perhaps a friend, neighbor, sibling, or coworker has similar health or weight-loss goals and would be willing to join you on the path to better eating while sharing successes and failures, cooking ideas, and a little camaraderie.
Prepare flexible meals
If you’re the chef in the relationship, you may fear that eating healthier will mean having to cook twice as much food to satisfy two different palates—but this doesn’t have to be the case. Customizable meals are the key here. For example, if you’re planning to serve tacos or burritos, you could put out a variety of fixings—ground beef and ground turkey; chopped tomatoes, lettuce, chives, and black olives; salsa; sour cream; guacamole; refried beans; shredded cheese; etc.—so you can each choose only the items that suit your personal taste and health goals.
The same logic can be applied to the toppings on homemade personal pizzas, the condiments and meat/ bread choices for sandwiches and burgers, the items you add to pasta dishes, etc. Simply offering a choice of sides—e.g., steamed brown rice in addition to stuffing, or sweet potato wedges in addition to French fries— can make a tremendous difference in the caloric value and nutrient density of your meals as well.
Be discerning when you dine out With their calorie-dense foods and oversized portions, restaurants can be especially perilous for people trying to make healthier food choices. Of course, restaurant dining is also one of the most common ways couples choose to relax and enjoy time together. The good news is, you don’t have to forego dining out just because you and your partner aren’t on the same page when it comes to healthy eating. However, you will need to be somewhat discerning in the venues you choose. Look for a restaurant with a diverse menu that includes a wide variety of high-quality healthy items—not a place that offers wilted side salads as an afterthought. That way you can each find an entrée to enjoy without feeling deprived on your special night out. ✲
