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IT WAS POURING OUTSIDE, and my friend from Michigan was determined to drive to Ohio to visit. I felt bad she had to get soaked that dreary evening and told her we could reschedule our dinner. She was adamant: “I don’t care if it’s a blizzard. I need to come.”
I wondered if she had a health problem or if there was a family problem. She arrived with a homemade meal, and we sat down and had the greatest meal and visit. I asked her if everything was okay in her life since she drove out. She laughed and explained that she needed the visit for her self-care.
Self-care. Those words are going around all over the place and mean more than flossing your teeth and eating well. According to Paula Gill Lopez, PhD, an associate professor in the department of psychological and educational consultation at Fairfield University in Fairfield, Connecticut, the need for self-care is obvious. “We have an epidemic of anxiety and depression,” she says. “Everybody feels it.”
She clears up one misconception about it: “One thing came out of the thousands of definitions about it, that self-care is not synonymous with self-indulgence or being selfish. Self-care means taking care of yourself so that you can be healthy, you can be well, you can do your job, you can help and care for others, and you can do all the things you need to and want to accomplish in a day.”
When I heard the term self-care, I thought it referred to doing the everyday things of life, such as bathing, dressing, doing your hair, brushing and flossing your teeth, taking the pills your health professionals prescribed, and eating a good diet. I realized that if a person had special health orders from their physician or nurse, that would be part of it—things like putting in eyedrops, putting on a brace or compression socks, or doing some PT exercises. I thought that was self-care, “but wait, there’s more!”
Self-care is broader, more inclusive, and includes everything that can make the whole person well. It’s anything you do to take care of yourself so you can stay physically, mentally, and emotionally well. Its benefits are better physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. Research suggests self-care promotes positive health outcomes, such as fostering resilience, living longer, and becoming better equipped to manage stress.
Marni Amsellem, PhD, a licensed psychologist based in New York, explains, “Self-care is anything you do for yourself that feels nourishing. That can be something that’s relaxing or calming, or it can be something that is intellectual or spiritual or physical or practical or something you need to get done.”
Self-care is not the same for everyone. My friend from Michigan came out in weather because she wanted to get out of her house for a while and be in a different environment. When she left, she said she felt rejuvenated. Some would not do what she did, but there are so many other things to do.
There are several basic categories of self-care:
• Physical self-care, such as prioritizing sleep, adopting an exercise routine you can stick with, or choosing healthy and nourishing foods over highly processed ones.
• Emotional self-care, such as self-talk, weekly bubble baths, saying “no” to things that cause unnecessary stress, giving yourself permission to take a pause, or setting up a weekly coffee date with a friend.
• Spiritual self-care, such as attending a religious service, spending time in nature, incorporating regular acts of kindness into your day, or keeping a gratitude journal.
• Mental self-care, such as getting regular exercise, doing a hobby or learning a new skill, reading a book, or listening to a podcast.
• Social self-care, such as spending time with family and friends, calling loved ones, keeping a date on your calendar, joining a group or book club, or engaging in healthy media use.
• Workplace self-care, such as spending time with coworkers outside of work hours, attending seminars and conferences, using time management, or not responding to work emails or messages outside of office hours.
• Financial self-care, such as paying bills, managing a budget, getting a financial manager, or completing tax responsibilities on time.
It makes sense that when we are happy, less stressed-out, and in good financial shape, we help our whole body, person, and heart feel healthy and whole. That’s something to think about.
Going out to a movie could be better for you than you ever imagined!
Sister Karen Zielinski is the Director of Canticle Studio. Canticle Studio is a part of the Sisters of St. Francis of Sylvania, OH’s overall advancement effort and has a mission of being a creative center where artists generate works, products, and services in harmony with the mission of the Sisters St. Francis. She can be reached at kzielins@sistersosf.org or 419-824-3543. ✲
