The challenges of RVing

IN 2020, a record number of people decided that RVing was an ideal way to recover from the cabin fever that accompanies quarantine. (Easily confused with the other fever that got you quarantined in the first place.) It might even make social distancing more tolerable.

You have already figured out that the best thing about an RV is also the worst thing about an RV—it is both a house and a vehicle. It provides the freedom to travel in comfort pretty much anywhere the road goes. Still, everything that requires maintenance and repair in your stationary home and automobile also requires attention in your RV. Murphy’s Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. O’Toole’s Commentary: Murphy was an optimist. So, you need to be psychologically resilient and prepared to deal with the unexpected.

The mechanical and personal challenges intersect when you must choose an RV appropriate for you. There is an enormous range of alternatives in size, format, and price that is far too complex to summarize here. A web search and a visit to an RV show may be in order. Talk to someone who owns an RV and ask what they like and what they don’t. How much room do you need? How much luxury? How do you feel about driving a really large RV while towing a second vehicle in heavy freeway traffic when your exit is four lanes over? How about narrow, steep mountain roads with hairpin turns and sheer drop offs? Is your budget a couple thousand dollars or a couple hundred thousand?

As in a house, the number of conveniences in an RV means more things that need attention. Some people want to simplify their lives. Some develop an instant crush on every new countertop appliance. An RV can be either a source of great satisfaction or boundless frustration depending on how well things are working. You could be quite comfortable dealing with electrical and plumbing issues around the house as well as basic auto maintenance. Or, you might not know the difference between a flathead and a Phillips.

The good news is, RVs come with manuals that specify the things you need to do to keep all systems functioning. The bad news is, it was written by some engineer at the factory. He is very good with linear differential equations and speaks fluent Physics, but his English might as well be ancient Sanskrit. Although the manual tells you what to do, don’t count on it telling you how. When it says “The magnetic quantum tubes must be completely interlaced before engaging the flux capacitor,” what exactly is your first step?

Even simple tasks like setting water valves either open or closed can be daunting. When touring an RV, check out the compartment that holds the water heater. There is probably a tangle of plastic water lines. Notice the dozen or so little valves. Under what circumstances should which of them be open or closed? What was it your grandfather said about righty tighty, lefty loosey?

This could be important because there is at least one of those valves you definitely want open. At home, you probably use the bathroom on occasion. When you finish your business, you depress the little lever without much thought about where your business goes. It’s gone. End of story.

If you are new to RVing, you do your business then start to wonder where it goes. Hold on a minute! Your business didn’t go anywhere. What’s with that? Time to consult a neighbor in the campground.

He will smile knowingly, in a very annoying way, and explain the difference between gray water (from the sink) and black water (from the toilet), which go to separate holding tanks. Then he’ll teach you the secret handshake and prepare you for initiation into the Sacred Mysteries of Dumping. Proceed to the campground sanitary station and enjoy one of the most thrilling aspects of RVing. Other than that, there is very little hazing in the RV fraternity. Thus, one thing at a time, most RVers eventually acquire the range of skills they need.

Still, the most challenging aspects of RVing are not mechanical but personal or, more likely, interpersonal. The first challenge for every would-be owner is getting buy-in from somebody who just rolls eyes. Both have probably made some false assumptions. Don’t open the discussion by trying to convince the other person that he is obviously mistaken. First, be sure you understand your own attitudes. Some are rational. Most opinions, either for or against, are purely emotional. Your “reasons” are likely just ways to justify your feelings. That’s OK—as long as you are aware of it. RVing can be a great way to experience the awesome splendor that is natural America. Or a great way to help a therapist and/ or divorce attorney pay for a new boat. Maybe an RV.

If both of you agree to buy an RV, you will then have to agree on some specific place to go. Which means more interpersonal negotiations about the merits of the mountains versus the beach. We have friends who travel extensively but only on guided tours and cruises. They avoid the stress of reaching agreement by letting someone else decide everything—where, when and what to eat, sleep, and visit. Even so, like all travelers, they must first agree on a destination. Ancient saying: If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there. Modern RV saying: All who wander are not lost.

Shirley and I always start out with a plan that includes an itinerary but not necessarily a fixed schedule. There is always plenty of built-in flexibility. If we like where we are, we stay longer. If the weather disappoints, we move on. If fellow campers recommend a place, we might go check it out. None of this, though, is just random wandering around. Unlike guided tours, we are responsible for every aspect of our travels.

One challenge to flexibility is that, in recent years, reservations are required at places where once they were not. Even before COVID, it was difficult to get a campsite in any of the popular national parks. The Great Pandemic created a double whammy—demand for campsites increased while the number of campgrounds decreased. Yellowstone, for example, has 12 campgrounds. In 2020, eight of them were closed.

One way to deal with this is by boondocking; that is, camping without a campground. There are huge swaths of the West where “dispersed camping” is permitted if you have a self-contained rig and do not insist on any amenities. On our last trip to Canyonlands National Park in Utah, the campground was full but there was boondocking available just outside the park courtesy of the Bureau of Land Management. Likewise, no sites at the North Rim Campground in Grand Canyon NP but Kaibab National Forest borders the park. When Padre Island National Seashore was closed by the government shutdown in 2019, we boondocked for a week right on the beach.

You probably want to hold off on boondocking, though, until you are quite comfortable operating your rig. There are many potential risks, both real and imagined, associated with being on your own deep in the woods or out in the desert. Mechanical issues. Safety, security, and health concerns. No cell signal. (Oh, the horror!) There are legitimate reasons to be a little nervous about confronting life without your usual support systems.

With that said, boondocking need not be out in the boonies by yourself. Quartzite, AZ, for example, is a town of 3,400 that welcomes up to two million visitors in January and February. Theoretically, they are there for the annual rock and mineral show. Actually, they are there to party like the boys of Delta Tau Chi in Animal House. (Come on. Two million people are not really that excited about rocks and minerals.) You can park your rig pretty much anywhere and do pretty much anything. Shirley and I have passed through a couple times. We prefer quiet seclusion. There ain’t no quiet seclusion at Quartzite.

Concern about being alone is the first half of Newton’s Third Law of Motion. The second half is the equal and opposite reaction—concern about being together 24/7. Because many RVers are recent retirees, couples suddenly find themselves together all the time. He used to go to work every day. Now he is continually underfoot, offering unsolicited advice about the proper way to load the dishwasher. So, before you buy that RV, give some thought to how much you enjoy each other’s company. Miranda Warning: You should make that assessment in the silence of your own head. Anything you say out loud can and will be used against you.

Here’s a fairly plausible excuse one of you is free to use. “Yes, Dear, RVing sounds delightful, but the grandchildren won’t be young forever and we would hate to miss their Wonder Years.” Now, who among us doesn’t cherish our time spent watching kids stare at their cell phones? You have been boxed in yet again. On the other hand, text me if you have ever heard a kid say, “We should snooze our devices. Mimi and Papa aren’t going to be around forever, and we would hate to miss their Golden Years.”

If you think RVing might be just the thing in your Golden Years, how exactly would you spend your time? I’ve often quoted Shirley’s father: “What do you do, just wander around in the woods all day?” Answer: Well, yes, sometimes we do. That’s called hiking. But we also like flyfishing, sightseeing, visiting historic places, and watching a wide range of wildlife. Then returning to camp for an adult beverage.

For those with different preferences, there are RV resorts with attractive amenities. A huge rec center for potlucks, catered suppers, musical entertainment, dancing, and euchre tournaments. It must have swimming, bocce ball, shuffleboard, pickleball, tennis, and miniature golf. Plus a fully equipped crafts center with instructors who teach pottery, painting, macramé, quilting, Zumba, wood working, and the art of motorcycle maintenance. Of course, it comes with full hookups—electricity, water, sewer, and cable TV. Though you might think that an RV is for traveling, a significant percentage of owners just find a place with everything they could possibly want and stay put for the duration.

But what if your ambition is to see the USA? There is magnificence beyond belief available to travelers in this country. Seasoned travelers are comfortable with the hundreds of decisions that have to be made before and during every trip. If they are not comfortable, they never become seasoned travelers. Newbies may find it daunting at first.

There are multiple possible answers to each of the issues RVers have to consider. If you were the reluctant traveler in the first place, you now have a boatload of excuses to veto the whole idea. Don’t feel guilty about disappointing the one who has dreamed of doing this for 30 years. He’ll get over it. Eventually. Maybe. So, go ahead and stay home. There are already 10 million RVers brawling like Black Friday shoppers at Target for the very last of the 2,000 sites in Yellowstone. We don’t need no more stinkin’ RVers.

What? None of this negativity discouraged you? OK, then. Though it is definitely against the best interests of veteran RVers, welcome aboard. If you have read all the way to the end of this column, odds are you are the kind of person we would like to meet someplace beautiful. Just promise not to tell anybody else. For the time being, RVing is still a walk in the park. Don’t be messing it up by telling anyone who is less adventurous than you.

LeMoyne Mercer is the travel editor for Healthy Living News. There is limited space here for LeMoyne’s photos. You might want to see more at anotherwalkinthepark.blogspot.com. Please leave comments on the site.